Meet David and Nicki, Max, Jake, Ariana, and Mackenzie Taller – a genuine Yachad family. The Tallers epitomize not only the literal meaning but also the spirit of Yachad in the truest sense. They face challenges, joy, and most anything that comes their way b’Yachad – together – as one.
Max, Jake, and Ariana are Yachad members. Their mother says that since joining Yachad her children have blossomed socially. They have made many deep-seated friendships and (happily) travel to Shabbatonim and events anywhere they’re held. Yachad has changed their world.
The three Taller children have attended programs in public schools all their lives. They have received excellent educations and have had warm and caring teachers along the way in the Lawrence, NY school district. However it has not been easy for them socially.
“Yachad welcomes each member regardless of their level of ability or disability,” Mrs. Taller explains. “Each of my children is very different and their needs and expectations are different. Our son Max is an easy-going guy. He really doesn’t see the differences in people. To Max every person is a potential friend. He is a kind, sweet, and thoughtful person. As he has gotten older we have worked with him to establish boundaries. The more time he spends with his peers and the Yachad staff, the more he learns about interacting with others. He is learning to give people space and let relationships develop where they may.”
Rebecca Shrag, Yachad’s Yad B’Yad program director concurs. “Max has been one of Yachad’s ‘mayors’ for years”, she says. “His friendly and enthusiastic nature makes him very popular amongst participants.”
Arianna’s success and popularity within the Yachad arena is squarely matched with Max’s; as she tells it, she has a very busy social life. She now goes out with her friends and hangs out on Central Avenue and is enjoying her independence. Her mom, Nicki added that, “for Ariana, Yachad has been a life changer. She had a very limited social life before joining Yachad. She’d been intimidated by the students with such different backgrounds at school. Now she has become friends with so many people in the community. Ariana is constantly learning from her experiences; she now recognizes her limits, is calmer, and more confident. Her people skills have improved so much.”
“Seeing Ariana open herself up to more social experiences over the summer was a highlight of the trip,” noted Rebecca Schrag. “But the real magic happened once we returned to New York. Ariana was back in a familiar environment, with every reason to again shy away from peers, but her friends wouldn’t allow it. While at times needing encouragement, Ariana can now be found out bowling, sharing pizza, or at the movies with friends on any given Saturday night. Ariana has a social life of her own and now she is often the one introducing her brothers to new friends.”
Michael Fagin, a high school peer on Yachad’s Yad B’Yad summer program points out, “I have known the Tallers all of my life, my mother and Nicki have been friends forever. Throughout the years I never really found much to talk about with Ariana. Thankfully, over this summer’s trip we finally grew close and we are now in frequent contact with one another.”
Eytan Aryeh, a fellow peer agrees. “I met Ariana on Yad B’Yad this past summer. She wasn’t the easiest person to get to know, but once you make the connection she really opens up. Over the last couple of months she’s become one of my best friends.”
“Jake is a homebody,” Nicki says of her younger son. “Up until last summer he had never spent a night away from home. He would always tell me, ‘I’d miss you too much – I am not going!’ No amount of cajoling or suggesting would change his mind. Then in the midst of one long, hot Shabbat afternoon last summer he informed me, “I’m really bored; I am going with Ariana on the next Yad B’Yad Shabbaton.” And that was that – he was ready to spread his wings.”
Nicki & Max celebrate with the family after competing in Miami Marathon with Team Yachad
The Tallers first learned about Yachad from Tzippy Posner at Kulanu Academy, a Cedarhurst, NY school for children and young adults with special needs. Tzippy had previously worked on Yachad summer programs and Shabbatonim and after meeting the Taller family she suggested that Nicki and David contact Yachad and look into its unique and varied social programming. “The Tallers are amazing parents,” Mrs. Posner says. “They do so much to help their children reach their full potential, with no pressure. They give them every opportunity to grow as individuals.”
The Taller’s youngest daughter, Mackenzie is in her first year of high school. She is a capable and understanding young woman, who shows great sensitivity and guidance to her siblings. Her mother tells us she believes that those with siblings who have special needs often grow up to be extraordinary individuals because they learn, at an early age, not to judge others and to accept things as they are and make the most of them.
Gayle Fremed, the director of the Special Needs Department of the JCC of the Greater Five Towns shares that, “Mackenzie has been a counselor here for three summers; she is so gentle and focused. She has great instincts and is incredibly patient and cool like her mother, Nicki. Max works here as well and is doing a great job as a counselor. Jake and Ariana are happy when they are here; they are great contributors. Nicki has done tremendous research and is tireless in her search for programs and people who can help her children.”
Mackenzie enjoying the Team Yachad experience with her mom
“My children are each so different and it’s heart-warming to watch them develop their independence,” Mrs. Taller reveals. “Max never misses a Shabbaton; he is always looking forward to going anywhere and meeting everyone. Ariana goes whenever she can because she knows the advisors and looks forward to seeing them along with her friends. Jake had informed us that he was not going over state lines,” she said with a smile, “but has recently gone on a Shabbaton to New Jersey where he stayed with Ariana’s friend Jessie Zuker. My son told me, ‘I miss you, but I’m fine.’ This brought tears to my eyes.
“Each of our children is making great strides due in large part to the wonderful staff that Yachad provides,” Nicki expounds. “Counselors seem to stay about six to ten years; there is so much energy and no one gets burned out.”
“Nicki and David together have done something incredible. They are true role models of what it means to be good parents. Not only to parents of children with special needs, but to all parents,” notes Eli Hagler, associate director at Yachad. “Their sense of humor and dedication to their children is second to none. I saw this first hand when Nicki ran her first half marathon with Team Yachad in January 2015. She had never run before, had never trained before, and didn’t think she could do it… but her hard work and dedication carried her over the finish line.”
“When Nicki spoke at the Pasta Party the night before the race,” Eli enthused, “you could hear a pin drop. Everyone there knew Nicki was participating in this event to improve the lives of her children and all Yachad members. It was impactful for all our runners and participants to hear her tell what Yachad programs and staff mean to her and her family and the importance of inclusion. She was amazing.”
Rebecca agrees, “Besides being hilariously funny, clever, creative, and caring, Nicki’s realistic and on-point parenting is awe inspiring. Nicki and David are committed to parenting each of their very different children in the way that suits each best.”
“We have so many wonderful people in our lives who have made our journey so meaningful,” Mrs. Taller shared. “My husband David and I are thankful for the many professional and lay people who have kept us moving forward.
Gwen Bloom is the editor of Belong Magazine.
This article is from the 2015 issue of Belong Magazine. If you would like to receive a hard copy please email belong@ou.org.