“Being Picky”
By Meyer Greenberger
June 6, 2016
Being picky is not a good trait, but people are picky despite this.By “being picky” I mean that people are often not satisfied with their lot. They may want what other people have and complain about what they have, but this does not mean that they need what the other person has. HaShem gives each person what is right and necessary for them.
If you are picky you may not want to accept the help that people want to give you. If you are dissatisfied the harder it will be for you to be with people or do the things you want to do. Being picky will make you more upset because if you push people away no one will want to help you and you will have a very difficult life. People will not want to help you out because they will know that you are a picky person.
. If you are waiting for a particular person and they are not available and someone else is available and you tell that person you don’t want them, you might have to wait a very long time until the person you want is available. You have to think about if you want to get something done whether it is not better to accept help from the second person. It may not be the right thing to be picky in this situation.
If someone redt you a shidduch and you are thinking of marriage you do not know if it will work out. You and the other person should not be picky because everything is up to HaShem. HaShem is working with bnei yisroel to make us have a good and happy life, even though it does not always work out the way we want. You should give a shidduch suggestion a chance instead of rejecting it offhand because you do not know whether it will work out or not. Sometimes you might have a feeling that the shidduch will not work, but you have to give it a try anyway. It is important to take the opportunity to find out if it is right for you.
We have to trust in HaShem that whatever he does is for the good. We cannot be picky because HaShem put us in this world. HaShem was not picky in that he created all types of people in this world. We have to remember that HaShem did not put us in this world to be picky. Being picky is not the right thing to do. We have to work on not being picky. We have to be happy with what we have and we have to have emunah. We cannot say we will only daven if someone is with us. We must do our best to daven on our own when necessary. If you cannot daven from a siddur you can daven to HaShem from your heart.
It is sometimes good to be picky. HaShem was picky when he chose to give the Jewish people the Torah instead of giving it to another nation. HaShem was picky in a good way that he chose us, but we must not be picky in a bad way.
If I were picky I would not be able to do things. I would not be able to use my wheelchair because I would be very picky about what kind of wheelchair I have. If I were picky I would be miserable all my life, but since I am not picky I have a very good life. I have worked on myself not to be picky about things.
We have to know when to be picky and we have to understand when not to be picky. This is a very hard thing to do. As Jewish people, we are supposed to be picky in some ways. Not being satisfied with what we have is one of thereasons why we are not united as one as bnei yisroel. If we choose to be picky we are delaying the coming of Mashiachyou want to be picky Moshiach. We will not be able to welcome Moshiach and return to Israel as a united nation until we learn to accept what HaShem has given us.
I know that we always say that Moshiach is coming very soon, but what is very soon. Very soon will be when people learn not to be envious of what others have. It is not a mitzvah to look at other people that have more than you. When people become jealous they become even more picky and they do not know what they want or what they don’t want.
Everything is up to HaShem. We have to have emunah in everything that we do. We have to believe that everything will go the right way. HaShem gave us the Torah and knows more than we do. HaShem wanted the Jewish people to have the Torah and learn the Torah. We should not be jealous of other people. We always have to be happy with what we have and what we do not have.
If I wanted I could be upset my whole life. I could ask people why they have more than me. I am in a wheelchair. I can’t do whatever I want. I can’t go wherever I want. I need help. Even though I have a hard life, I make the best of it. Some days are good and some day are not, but everything is up to HaShem. Whatever happens happens for a reason and we cannot question that. It will not get us anywhere to question and we will only become more upset. We must have emunah. The more emunah and bitachon we have the less picky we will be.
We have to work with people and not against people. When we are picky we are working against people. I also have to work on having more emunah and not being picky. Even though I learn Torah every night with one of my family members, sometimes I feel that I am picky with many other things and I should not be. I think that is how many people work in this world and that is not a good thing.